The classic narrative comes up all day every day. This food is good. That dog is bad. I am a good person. My mom treated me badly. I'm having a good hair day. This life is bad. All day we are pulled from one pole of this duality to the other. A roller coaster that we ride, trying desperately to become something on the one side and push away what we don't want on the other.
This worked for us for centuries as we had to label situations where we may not survive in. Tiger = Bad. Then we would have to run. Coconut = Good. Then we could eat. But these days we don't have to be so worried about our surroundings all the time. But that part of our brains that has to label things to keep us safe is still working perfectly. Your mind wants to ride the poles. It is not a bad thing. It helped us survive. It helped humanity get here. It is time to take back our control, though. Find the center.
This is a very abstract concept at first. Good and bad are so ingrained in our speech, in our society and in our lives that it can feel impossible to remove them. Yet, once we begin to try life becomes easier. Life becomes more enjoyable. Life erupts into unconditional love in every moment. And we can do this by rewriting the narrative to exclude each polarity. Removing good and bad from the thought entirely, so we can be delivered to the present moment fully.
This can be impossible to imagine at first, so I wanted to deep dive into a bunch of examples of rewriting this narrative to serve you without the polarity. We can rewrite the narrative by removing the polarity, then relying only on facts and feelings.
Duality: I am a good person.
Nonduality: I am a person who is committed to the journey to my highest self.
Duality: Joe is a bad person for hurting me.
Nonduality: Joe is hurt on the inside and couldn't see how his actions would hurt me.
Duality: This meal was so good!
Nonduality: I'm so thankful for this meal that I could enjoy with friends.
Duality: That tastes bad.
Nonduality: I don't prefer this taste.
Duality: Good vibes only.
Nonduality: I accept all vibes that serve my highest self and send love back to ones that don't.
Duality: I've hurt those I love the most, I am a bad person.
Nonduality: I am conscious of my actions that did not serve my highest purpose and will work to heal myself so I will not hurt others in the future.
You see how we are sticking to the facts and not labeling things? This is the key to setting you free from the duality of life. This is the key to finding your center. By using the duality, we label ourselves one thing or another, and this can lead us down a spiraling path of self-hatred, or constantly reaching for one side. I'm a bad person, so that must mean I hate everyone I love, so that means no one should ever love me, so I should just never talk to anyone again. This spiral is unhealthy and doesn't help us heal.
A lot of people ask me: "so if you don't label things bad do you just let people walk all over you?" NO! If every time I hang out with a certain person I keep telling myself "This person does not respect my boundaries", then I will not continue to hang out with them. I don't have to label them a bad person in order to keep my sanity. I'm just being honest with myself about their actions and how it's affecting me. I'm also more able to see patterns by sticking to the facts.
Give the inspired action below a shot and see how it makes you feel.
INSPIRED ACTION: Try for a whole day to not use the words good or bad. Or if this feels impossible, try for a whole hour. Every time you use the words, stop yourself and rewrite the narrative to something nondual. Keep returning to the center. Journal about how you felt after each correction, then overall how the day felt. It's ok to mess up, that's a beautiful part of life. Continue to return to the center.