Sex. The scary word that Instagram will deem my account "inappropriate" if I use. So why does Instagram deem this word so inappropriate? Sex is totally natural, right? Because they are on the lookout for sex workers on the gram! They are so afraid of sex workers advertising their services that they are willing to take down ANY account that even talks about sex! This is all over the sexual wellness community. My friends and colleagues get their accounts suspended, posts taken down, and get banned from the platform. Why? Because they simply talk about sex. But how are we all supposed to learn healthy sexual wellness if we can't even say the word?
Let's start with sex workers. The appropriate term for anyone who uses sex to make money. And this is a big field, guys! Ranging from prostitutes, to porn stars, to body healers, to somatic body workers, to some kinds of strippers. The thing in common they all have is that sexual touch is involved in some way, and they're getting paid. You might have a gross feeling just talking about sex work, but let me assure you, sex workers are doing a very important job. You see, people go to sex workers for all kinds of reasons. Some need to get laid, some need to learn about their bodies, some go to feel safe, and some for the emotional care that sex workers bring. And without an avenue for people to get this type of touch, they will often go into depression, rage, anxiety, disconnection, or many other feelings. Sex workers make it so that many people can be more functional in our society.
There is also a whole subset of Tantra called sexual healing. Many teachers teach people how to do it to themselves. But there are some who actually do hands on work. Somatic body workers are also in this field but come at it from a psychological standpoint instead of a Tantric one, but they are very similar. This work is valuable, critical, and needed. There are people out there who have been brutally raped who wish to enjoy sex again, but they can't because every time someone touches them, they dissociate, or have a panic attack. In a society without sexual healers or somatic body workers these people would have no way to confront their fears, and spend their lives afraid and disconnected. Through intentional, consensual work by trained professionals, we can reintegrate these people back into their lives. This can only be good for society. There are also many other reasons besides rape that people get disconnected from their bodies, and this work can help all sorts of people reintegrate. This work is vital.
You've probably heard it before, that sex work is the oldest profession in the world. Who knows the validity of this statement, but I assure you it's been around a long time! It was one of the first professions that women could earn money in solo, and has been seen in every single society throughout the history of the world. Even the most puritanical societies can't escape sex work. To me, sex work is totally natural. Even in the animal kingdom you'll find animals engaging in it, making trades of the sort in exchange for sex. So, if we've found it in every society, including the animal kingdom, it must be a natural part of this world.
Then why are we so afraid of it? Why do we shame those who do it, and arrest people for practicing it? Because our laws were built on puritanical beliefs, and patriarchal systems. These beliefs are not rooted in the natural process of things. The patriarchy is afraid of women using their bodies for something profitable, because they know they can't be as successful. They want to control women's bodies, so they can own them. They want dominion over us, so we just make babies and consume. A sex worker is so far outside of their model for what they desperately want society to look like that they have to make it illegal.
And making it illegal leads me back to Instagram, and my profession. Tantra says yes to everything, including sex. Tantra shows that sex can be a deep, passionate, spiritual experience. So, you'll find many Tantra Teachers talk about sex very openly. We are trying to break down these puritanical and patriarchal beliefs to free people of the shame, guilt, and judgement of sex so that they can experience the magical, life-shaking, enlightenment of spiritual sex. This frees people from depression, anxiety, judgement, self-loathing, self-harm, and disconnection. A freed person is even more valuable to society than one imprisoned by the mind. They are more creative, loving, giving, caring, and authentic. They are even more pure than the puritans who are imprisoned by their own beliefs. They are pure in thought, not shackled by it. They are freed through sex, not caged by it.
But because sex work has been made illegal, Instagram will sacrifice the benefits of a sexually liberated society to maybe prevent some sex workers from advertising on their platform. Maybe. Because what you'll continually find is that the sex workers are smarter than Instagram. So, Instagram says you can't say sex, so they say something else. They come up with an entirely new language to speak that doesn't get picked up by the algorithm. They continue to flourish. But what doesn't flourish is the people trying to teach about sex. Accounts like mine are constantly policed, harassed, and taken down by Instagram, even though I'm very clearly not selling sex. I'm teaching it, among many other things.
If sex work was made legal, then Instagram would be able to stop policing it. They could just make 18+ accounts, and let it go. No matter how you feel about sex work, you should be able to see the benefits of legalization. And legalization doesn't mean you have to become a sex worker. It just means that people doing this difficult work can do it in peace. Legalization isn't the only answer though. We need to reform our beliefs on sex work. Because sex work is vital to any society. Sex work is valid.
INSPIRED ACTION: I want you to talk to someone about sex work. I want to get the conversations started all over the world that will lead to changed belief systems about sex work. We are the only way that things can change. Each mind, one at a time, until the majority of the world is changed. This is vital work.