I know the first thing you thought about was that Marvin Gaye song. When I heard that song I used to think, oh it's healing because people like sex, so if you do what you like it'll be healing. I had no idea that you can actually heal your body, mind, and spirit with your solo or partnered sex! It's definitely an advanced technique in Tantra, but that doesn't mean it's inaccessible. Let's break it down so you get a better understanding of what's actually happening.
So, you probably like sex, I like sex, so why shouldn't sex be healing? If we do what we love, then it should heal us. Well, you're right that you don't have to do sexual healing in this exact manner for it to be healing, but it's probably mostly an accident at that point. Sex has the potential for vast healing because we are tapping into your vital life-force energy! This energy is naturally healing because it is what keeps us alive and moving.
Imagine you just worked 3 12-hour shifts in a row and you're exhausted. You can barely take your shoes off as you fall in to bed and you're not sure if you'll ever get out. Then, the fire alarm goes off. Immediately, without thought, you jump up grab your cat and run out the door. Where did this energy come from? You didn't drink any more water or eat any more food. It came from a deeper space. This is your life-force energy. You need three things on this planet to survive: food, water, and energy.
This excess of energy is with you at all times. Even right now. But you're not tapping into it because you probably don't know how, and there isn't an emergency. In Tantra, we learn how. Through breath, movement, sound, mindfulness, and energy work we can find this space that the energy flows into our bodies and cultivate it. During a Tantric healing session we work to get embodied, then we work to expand this energy. We want to call in as much of this healing as we can to assist our healing. The more the merrier when it comes to this. This energy is also called sexual energy, but it means the same thing as life-force energy. Some people call it sexual energy because of where it flows from and how it feels.
Imagine there is a vast well of energy below you. We can draw it from the Earth, from our own energy well, the universe, or from others. Your root chakra is ideal for drawing this energy up from that well. The root chakra is located at the perineum, between the genitals and the anus. This fact is mostly lost in other modalities besides Tantra. They are afraid to use these words to describe the area, so they say misleading statements like "it's at the base of the spine". First off, I don't visually know where that is. I always struggled to picture where it was and connect to it with this description. Second, it's not correct. And when we are talking about subtle energy feelings, being specific is ideal.
By learning how to connect with and move this energy through the root chakra, we can learn to draw in more of this energy and move it around our bodies. Energy work is an important part of this process. This is why Tantric healing is a more advanced technique. But I'll give you a trick to energy work that will help you no matter where you are in this game. Energy flows where attention goes. So, wherever you place your attention, is where the energy will flow to. In the beginning of learning about energy work, keep this simple fact in mind. No matter what you feel or don't feel, if you can focus your entire attention on a spot, then your energy will go there. This happens all day, every day to you, you just might not realize. Have you ever felt drained after watching tv for a long time? That's because all your energy went to the tv.
The next ingredient is pleasure. Pleasure ignites the energy. This can be done with just yourself, or with partners. And it doesn't even have to be sexual. Feather light touch on the skin of the arms can ignite pleasure. Dance can ignite pleasure. Even breath. In a workshop setting there is never any sexual contact, but I will explain different ways you can use this on your own in a sexual setting, too. I just don't want you to feel like it can only be done through sex.
So, we have built energy, ignited it with pleasure, now all that's left is that technique! The technique is done in 4 phases with or without a partner. The first phase is about feminine receptivity. Using breath, stillness, and panoramic vision you can get in deeper touch with your receptive nature. The second phase is about starting to connect with yourself or your partner on a deeper level. Holding the hands over the hearts, breathing together, and looking into each other's eyes. The third phase we are now circulating the energy around. If alone, you circulate it through your own body. If with a partner, you circulate it through each other. This step is the most difficult because there is just a lot going on. You're breathing a certain way, rocking back and forth, moving your hands in a circle, and making sound. All while trying to relax into it. Finally, you fall backwards onto something soft and here is the most crucial step: you focus your attention on where you want the energy to go. Nothing else.
This technique is best learned from someone who has done it before. There is a lot of nuance. I'm offering this workshop soon in Bremerton, WA (Feb. 17th, 2023). And I also offer it as a Private Workshop Experience! You can do these in person or via video chat from anywhere in the world! If you want to know more, then check it out!
INSPIRED ACTION: Consider what your sex could look like if you thought of it as healing. Maybe you think of it as pleasure only, or a chore, or something for someone else. What could change in your sex if you started viewing it as a healing modality for yourself?