I breathed in his energy, and he breathed in mine. We were writhing back and forth holding hands. Building more and more energy. Our eyes were locked together. Our breaths were opposite. I encouraged him to surrender as I was. Then finally, we fell backwards onto the pillows we had so carefully set up. All the sexual energy flowing through us, and we each focused on where we wanted the healing to go in ourselves. This was Tantric Healing! This was Sexual Healing! And I love it.
First, let's talk energy. It's something we need to survive. It's what keeps you running when you're being chased. It's what gets you up in the morning. It's a natural part of this human experience. Yet, there's no class about it growing up, there's no manual. We all have to find our own path to learning about our energy. Witchcraft was my first real experience with energy work. I learned how to feel it, move it, and transform it through becoming a Witch. But it was Tantra that taught me how to go deeper, how to use it in new ways, and how to heal myself with it.
Feeling energy is as natural as walking. Just remember that where attention goes, energy flows. So, wherever you're focusing is where the energy will accumulate. You can try it now if you like. Focus on your pinky finger on your right hand. Spend a good minute focusing solely on this point. Focus until you feel a shift in sensations. It could feel light, or heavy, tingly, flowy, electric. We all experience energy differently, so embrace how you feel it. Moving energy is the same process you're just focusing on the path you want the energy to move. Try tracing the energy in your head to your heart. Feel the sensations drop down. At first, this feels subtle. With practice you can start to become more sensitive to the sensations and it can feel much louder!
Now, what is this sexual energy and how is it different from regular energy? Well, they're the same thing! All your energy is just that, energy! It gets this tag that it's "sexual" because we tap into it from the root chakra, which is between the anus and genitals (the perineum). The root chakra is unique that it draws energy from a vast pool of energy below it. We always have access to this energy pool and can bring in more energy at any time if we need to. So, this energy gets this sexual label because it moves through the genitals first and most people associate it will sex. But remember all energy is the same.
In Tantra (especially left-handed Tantra), we go into the taboos of society because that is where the most blocks are. The society that has formed today is afraid of the overtly sexual outside of entertainment purposes. So, we call it sexual energy to start breaking this taboo. But sex is one of the most creative and healing forces humans have! Sex literally creates life, and it can heal life, too. Sexual energy IS healing energy! They are inseparable. So, we can learn to flow with this energy. We can build it up into higher and higher concentrations, then send it to where healing is needed. We don't have to do anything else because this energy will naturally heal wherever it goes. Like how you don't need to think about healing a cut on your body, you just make sure the conditions will allow your body to heal itself. Sexual healing is also about trusting your body's innate wisdom.
So, how does it work then? As with most things Tantra, first we need to get out of the mind and into the body. Usually I use breath, movement, sound, and intention to actively move us in that direction. Then we go into cultivating that juicy sexual energy. In a workshop setting we never have sexual contact, but pleasure is so much bigger than sex! We can use massage, caressing, touch, and energy work to start cultivating this yummy energy. It's totally acceptable to get turned on in a Tantra workshop! Sometimes it's even the intention! Outside of a workshop setting I encourage people to use sexual touch to go even deeper. The main idea here is to start slow and light, and work your way up to the heavier, deeper touch. And to definitely not go over the edge into orgasm. It's also important to maintain a meditative state. We are doing something different that just fucking. We are expanding our sexuality to heal ourselves! So, it requires a different mindset.
Once we have built up sexual energy, now it's time to move into the sexual healing technique. This technique is best learned live, because there's a lot of steps. But, essentially we start by connecting with our partner through the eyes, the doorway to the soul. We breathe in synch and use feminine vision (a soft panoramic vision). Then we start sharing our energy. Each person has built up their own energy, so we start to exchange it. As energy moves it picks up what it moves through. So, by moving the energy through each other's hearts and genitals it's picking up even more healing vibes. We can multiply the effects by multiplying the people. Although, this can all also be done totally solo with amazing results.
Finally, we get the whole body involved in the energy exchange. Breath, movement, sound, intention, and energy all moving in a circle through each partner. I encourage people to start within the boundaries of the exchange, but eventually I get them to stop thinking about it as much and really drop in. Getting off the rails and moving intuitively. When we can get the mind out of the process, the energy is freer to do what we want. The sexual healing comes to an end as both partners fall back away from each other and then focus their entire attention on where they want this healing to go. All that's needed is for the energy to accumulate there, and there alone. It is already naturally healing, so you don't need to know how it's going to heal. Just trust that it knows. Your body is an absolute miracle!
If this is something you're interested in learning I'm having a live group workshop called Tantric Date Night on February 17th, 2023, just after Valentine's Day! You can come solo or with partner(s) as I'll be teaching both variations. I also offer this course as a Private Workshop Experience in person or via video chat. It's called Tantric Healing there. This is certainly not the only method to Tantric Healing either! There are so many ways to move, transform, and heal with our sexual energy!
INSPIRED ACTION: If you've never connected with your energy then try it now! Do the pinky exercise I describe earlier then try feeling the energy in different body parts. If you can't feel it at first that's totally normal. We aren't taught these skills! So, be graceful and humble as you learn but know that the more you try and continue to return to the practice the more you will be able to feel!